Feeling at home inside
No need to have a place anymore
Just being and having peace
With you in my heart
Feeling at home
When I hear your voice
When I read your mind
When I feel your soul
Having rest for some time
No need to search anymore
Having reached the destination
No questions
Nothing is wrong
Feeling like it ever was like this
Ready for leaving
So sweet
So peaceful
So rich
Thank you so much
For feeling at home

Sometimes
when you feel imprisoned
when everything is dark around you
and you are not able to breath
the time has come
to burst the shell
to appear as a creature of energy
being here
just for shining

Maul me – please don’t
Desire me – please dont
Challenge me – please don’t
Long for me – please don’t
Raise the tigerishness in me – please don’t
Cover me with your words – please don’t

Take me in your arms
Let me feel at home there
Just for a moment
Let me feel your heart beating
In your chest
Smell your flavour
Enjoy silently
Find calmness
Let me make peace with myself
Let me be Myself – just Me
Not more and not less
For this I will love you

Words to you
Words – spoken – so empty – don’t reach you
Letters only – strung together
They don’t breath – don’t feel – don’t touch
If you would see me
Speaking these words
How my lips are shaped in softness – when speaking
How my eyes are shining towards you with tenderness
You would understand
You would feel
You would know in which deep sea they have their source
They would be able to heal you
Bring you peace
In your painful struggle with yourself
They would warm your heart

You held me in your arms
Tonight
You let me taste your soul
I died among your kisses
Thousand times
You took the heaviness from me
Light-feeted I am stumbling now
I am beginning to run
Bar-feeted over the hot ashes
Of the desolation in me
Without an aim
With you in my heart
I woke up
my eyes filled with tears
And I knew
You stayed with me tonight

Autumn

a sunbeam
a beetle
the swallows are migrating
it was a long time ago

the grassland
demolished by long tongues
the coldness of the air I am feeling
on my skin

a watch is ticking
and leaves they have to fall down
the clouds are moving quickly
hurrying for not having to become cleared away

from green to brown
from yellow to red
the world is arching
under the heavy burden of time

I am sitting and watching
and feeling the time
flying
and leaving marks

the questions I asked
are answering the cool wind
the love I gave
is leaving a sensible effect

it has become dark
the shadows have left
the blue smoke of my cigarette
is sinking in the dark of the sky

but the red glow of ashes
becomes visable
before falling down
and hovering away

its is my time
when I am sitting
and gently watching
………………………………pssst

What would be….
when I should have to enter my next-life-condition and I should have to see, that life has fooled me
when I never have felt happiness and pain of love in my heart
when desires and acting on impulse never prevailed over rationality
when I never would have taken my dearest persons into my soul
when the sparkles in my eyes never would have revealed you my inner life
I would regret, not having taken all the chances
The watch is ticking mercilessly
NOW

I am searching forever
because you don’t answer my feelings in the right moment
because you prefer reading the newspaper instead of telling me that you are loving me
because you are not addicted to my body
because I am not most important in your life
because no one was able to give this all to me in my life until now
and..............
let me tell you that this is not your fault

Almost nothing does matter anymore, closeness is an illusion and when I think that I am feeling close to someone, having touched someone’s heart, it already has become over again – killing calmness and silence and the way to myself again. Carelessness is moving me to tears.
I am searching the adventure – even though just for some minutes or hours – to sense myself, to feel that I am still alive.
My life is running before me without giving me the chance to catch up with it. And when I think having caught it, it already has left.
Soon, in some years perhaps, I will have lost my hard-earned freedom. My body will have become old, only to myself he will appear beautiful. My heart only will be seen through the veil of my body and no one, really no one will be able to sense the youthful freshness in it.
I can’t stay as a worn out shoe of someone, better to live in loneliness.
I need life’s intensity, either deeply sad or endlessly happy and at one with myself, and this whole palette of mood within one day.
In having sex I am able to touch the soul of someone. When I feel pleasure, there is no need for protection anymore, the emotional covering has left, I can see the naked soul of the other.
Almost nothing does matter anymore, the death will be the last deep experience of life.
Death will come, much too soon perhaps and I still didn’t became able to put over my inner to outside.
I am despairing on it. Is there some one for whom I am all? Insensibility and indifference have won over love.
As then dear adventures, I am prepared for you.

AnaLoba is on her way again.
She is an old ugly woman living in desert collecting the bones of all the wolves as they passed away.
In a ritual she restores the wolves bones by singing over them.
The bones are synonymus to female intuition, meaning they will never be lost forever.
Female intuition can always be restored again, no matter how long it has been buried.
Let me tell you, I am the collector of your bones - it is me, your AnaLoba